I tried to stop myself from responding, but not very well. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re completely useless in a non-post-apocalyptic world too.” And since my zombie-destroying skills are up to snuff, there wasn’t anything he could do in response to that (note to self: remember to come up with plausible excuse for Human Resources about why I needed that 12-guage at my desk again—“I blame Bush” might not cut it this time.)

In any case, it reminded me of my previous post about the so-called eclipse that I have decided was a myth because EMPRICISM™ (and if you doubt me, then you’re a RACIST™!). Since I concluded that this means the Mayan Apocalypse is true, and since my aforementioned coworker was talking about a post-apocalyptic world, then obviously correlation = causation (or some such) resulting in yet more affirmation that the end of the world will be in December of this year. There is no longer any reason at all to deny it. I mean other than logic and reason in the first place, but seriously, who are you going to believe: me or your own lying brain?

And no, this isn’t just a way for me to try to get more money from you. In fact, I don’t want your money anymore. Money is worthless. That’s why I’m asking that you first convert your money to gold before you send it to me. Actually, silver might be even better than gold since in the coming apocalypse I surmise I will probably need a lot of silver bullets. (Zombies are like werewolves, right?)

Now some people tell me that I’m being a little bit paranoid here. To those people, I say, “Mom, Dad: it isn’t being paranoid if they really are after you.” I mean, look at it this way. My coworker just today made it necessary for me to have to come up with an excuse for HR for why I was using firearms at my desk again. Don’t you see what I have to put up with here? If it wasn’t for Congress requiring them to keep me hired because of DISCRIMINATION™, I’m certain they’d even try to fire me now! It’s almost as if they haven’t even heard of GLOBAL WARMING™!

Sheesh. You know what? I think a good apocalypse every now and then is actually PATRIOTISM™. Didn’t Thomas Jefferson once say, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of zombies and vampires”? He didn’t cross the Delaware River on Christmas to conquer New Jersey simply to have his great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren give away the country! And you shouldn’t either.

Friends, there is only one way to avoid the coming apocalypse. And I will tell you that way after just six easy payments of $9.95, payable in gold or silver only, because RON PAUL™. Simply send your e-mail address to ISwearIWontSpamYou@thisemaildoestooexist.info.com.net.org and get my newsletter today. For the children!

The weather in Colorado is now getting pretty nice, too. Yesterday, I even had the wind at my back for most of the trip home, which was a pleasant change from the usual. As anyone who rides a bike for any length of time knows, the wind is always in your face. This is just physics. If Schrödinger had put a bike in with the cat, we’d know which direction the wind was blowing even if we didn’t know whether the cat was alive or not. I’m just saying.

Next up, my wife bought me a new wallet which I was given yesterday. This was definitely a good thing as my old wallet was being held together by my pockets and nothing else. Although I discovered today that I somehow forgot to transfer my debit card into my new wallet—thankfully I don’t need to buy anything while at work, though. It does go to figure. Of the two things that I actually need to have in my wallet (my ID and my debit card), I had half. But I also had my hunter safety card, so there is that.

Finally, I think that Conservatives own Twitter. I know there are a lot of Liberal types on there, but when even Comedy Central is whining Conservative hashtag games are ruining Twitter, then I think it’s safe to say Liberals are losing. The biggest thing is that the media no longer has a monopoly on what news stories are out there. I get far more interesting news stories, and far quicker access to them, by reading the Twitter feed than even some of my favorite blogs. If you want to circumvent the Lamestream Media, following conservatives on Twitter will do it.

Since I’ve studied other languages, however, I’ve noticed something that’s different from Koine Greek than from any other language I’ve studied. I’ve never seen a “primer” or elementary reader for Koine Greek—you know, something like Ecce Romani in Latin. (And the Latin example proves it’s not just because Koine is a “dead” language.)

Part of this, I assume, is because most people who would write primers would do so in Classical Greek rather than in Koine Greek. Pretty much no one other than seminarians studies Koine. Still, I think it would be worthwhile for seminarians if there was a Greek primer similar to Ecce Romani, which means that maybe I’ll have to write one.

Due to copyright restrictions, we are linking the text rather than quoting it fully. Job 12 ESV.

The cycle of escalation we have already seen established in the book of Job continues, as Job responds after Zophar’s insulting screed.

Question 1: What are the propositions of the passage?

1) Job responds.
2) Job states that his friends are “the people” and that “wisdom will die with” them, in a statement that seems to be either sarcasm or full-fledged mockery.
3) Job points out that he has understanding just as they do.
4) Job says he is not inferior to them.
5) He asks a rhetorical question, indicating that all the wisdom his friends have presented is already known.
6) Job points out he is a laughingstock to his friends.
7) Job again declares his righteousness as one who calls to God, and who God answered.
8) Job points out that sinners are at ease and secure.
9) Job references the beasts, birds, plants, and fish as witnesses that the LORD has done these things to Job.
10) He says that the life of everything is in the LORD’s hand.
11) Job declares wisdom and might are with God.
12) He points out that none can resist God by using several metaphors.
  A) What God tears down, none can rebuild
  B) What God shuts in, none can open.
  C) If God holds back rain, the land is dry.
  D) If God releases the waters, the land is flooded.
13) Job points out that both “the deceived and the deceiver” are God’s.
14) He shows that God makes conquerors into the conquered.
15) He says God turns judges into fools.
16) Further, he says God releases kings and leads priests away naked.
17) He says God overthrows the mighty.
18) God further is said to take away speech from the “trusted” and discernment from “the elders.”
19) He says God pours contempt on princes, and makes weak the strong; uncovers the deepest darkness and brings it to light.
20) Job says God makes nations great or destroys them, as He wills.
21) He says that he removes understanding from the rulers so that they grope in darkness like drunk men.

Question 2: What does this passage teach about God?

Job is fully convinced that God is behind everything that has happened to him. Not only that, but he claims that it is obvious to all. He appeals to nature to show that God is sovereign over everything. As a result, Job concludes that God has brought about everything that has happened to him.

Job indicates the complete nature of God’s control by looking at both poles, a method we’ve seen before too. God makes the mighty weak; he conquers the conqueror; he takes away the speech from the well-spoken, and discernment from the elders who should have the most discernment of all. None can stand of their own power against the will of God.

As a result, Job concludes: “Who among all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?”

Question 3: What does this passage teach about man?

Job’s statements about God’s sovereignty are accurate. In fact, they match his previous attitude (“The LORD gives and takes away; blessed by the name of the LORD”) which was said to be righteous. Yet now, while his words are accurate, he is using the words not to praise God, but instead seemingly to blame God for what is going on. Whereas before Job would submit to what God did, now he questions it. Job maintains he is righteous and therefore concludes what God is doing is unjust. This shows us that even the truth can sometimes be used incorrectly when we are in a defensive mindset.

Almost makes me wish I was still playing trumpet these days.

As soon as he said this, I heard another coworker exclaim: “That’s not fair! You have to be in a real conversation.”

After a few seconds, it came about that a group of the IT Geeks I work with were trying to use the less-primary meaning of the word “pedestrian” in the middle of a sentence in a random conversation, to see who could use it accurately the first time. Given that the usage the first coworker had seemed, to me, to actually be the primary usage of the word, I walked over to the guys and said:

“I think that including me in your conversations without telling me what you’re doing is rather pedestrian.”

I believe that’s called an epic win…

It does make me ponder though. If one is writing a commentary on Job, should one expect more of these types of events? You know, like as a test? :-)