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This weekend will by my birthday. As a result, I figured I’d buy myself a present. It just so happens that I mentioned how I wanted to get an electric guitar again (I still have my original Gibson Les Paul Special Epiphone, but since it’s my first guitar I don’t want to do much with it). One of my co-workers said, “I have an Ibanez I could sell ya.”

So I took him up on the offer. I got the Ibanez (it’s an RG 120), an amp, the case to carry it in, a cable, and even a slide so I can do slide guitar if I want to, all for $150. The amp itself is probably worth around $100, and a new guitar would still run you about $200 (on sale!), so I got a great deal :-)

Next up, I’ll need to buy a good drum machine. Then a 16 track…

I forgot I had uploaded this song before, but since I found I had, I’ll toss in a bit of background for it. The song is called I Know Why and it’s one of the songs that I wrote when I was living in my demon-possessed apartment, so that would have put it around 2005 or so (in other words, one of the last songs I recorded, since most of my equipment went the way of the Dodo when I moved from that hole).

Anyway, here’s the lyrics:

I Know Why
Words and Music by Peter Pike. (c) 2005 by Selenium. All rights reserved.

I ask you to look this way
You look at me as if to say
And tell me that it is broken.
I pretend to understand
I fake that I comprehend
But I don’t know a word you’ve spoken.

All around the world falls
All around the sky dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever thought
Is buried in the mass
Of undeciphered malcontent
And embittered trash.

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has something to do with me
And what you see.

I ask God for a sign
And He says that I only whine
And beg Him for something else I think I need
It is nothing personal at all
Just a product of the Fall
And my envious greed.

All around the buildings fall
All around the sparrow dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever knew
Is buried in the grave
Of undeciphered malcontent
The only thing I save.

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has something to do with me
And what you see.

The face in the mirror
The mirage in the shiver
The place where I was
The longing just because
A world that never felt at peace
It was never at ease
I only felt this way
Cuz I knew some day I’d pay.

I am standing in the rain
It showers me with pain
And all I know how to do is cry.
I pretend that it is fine
I pretend that you are mine
And never bother to question why

All around my facades fall
All around my image dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever was
Is buried far beyond
My undeciphered malcontent
The vision’s finally dawned

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has nothing to do with me
And what you see.

This song is one of the songs that I really like even though I also don’t like it. Probably a lot of it has to do with the fact that it comes from when I was in a dark place (yeah, a demon-possessed apartment isn’t exactly a “happy place”). Still, this song contains some of my favorite lyrics of anything I’ve ever written (especially the second verse).

The song feels a bit disjointed, both lyrically and musically, which is semi-intentional. It’s especially evident in the bridge section, where I go into it by having “competing” solo riffs. It’s actually to actualize the point of the first verse about incomprehensibility. By the way, in case you didn’t get it, the “you” who is being refered to throughout the song is the “face in the mirror.” On that level, it makes the song seem sort of schizophrenic, and I suppose there are aspects of that echoing in there; but in reality, it deals a great deal with the struggle between what I wanted to be and what I really was at the time.

In any case, the opening riff is one of the most fun ones to play on guitar. And I also liked the chords I came up with for the verses. I even like the rhythm riffs for the bridge. However, the solos aren’t as good as I’d like (although it fits the song anyway), and I don’t care for my vocals in this song either. I sound too much like Bono…. (Travis will understand this means that I’m wailing too much in it.) :-P

Oh well. I just thought I’d share the background with you. And yes, this means that I watched Spinal Tap again and wish I was in a band again….

So this morning I dug my bike out of the garage so I can start riding it again and in the process found one of the boxes from about four moves ago that had some of my old CDs in them. It’s been at least five years, and probably closer to ten, since I listened to any of these. Anyway, I noticed one of the CDs had no label because it was a recorded one, so I wanted to see what was on it. Turns out it was stuff that I recorded back when I was a band. (Yes, I wrote that right–I had a drum machine and a computer so I was the whole band.)

Anyway, I was listening through them and I got to this song (in Windows Media Format) and I was like, “I don’t remember recording this song at all.” Yet I know I did because A) it’s an obvious demo and B) the drums match my drum machine.

So I decided this song can be named “Huh?” because I don’t remember it and don’t know what it was supposed to be. But I figure I’d torture you guys with it. As I said, it’s a demo song so there are many errors in it. But I think if I actually worked on it and cleaned it up, it would have potential.

Only problem…I don’t remember how to play it.

Oh well.

I got to talking to a coworker today about my favorite Christian musician, Steve Taylor. He always had the best lyrics. But he was also always a cut above everyone else. Unlike the famous quip Doug Wilson once said (”Everything the world can do, Christians can do five years later and not as well”), Steve Taylor was always ahead of his time.

Just look at him in 1984: “I Want To Be A Clone” at Cornerstone. It sounds better here, but the Cornerstone version is important….because

Here’s his 2003 Cornerstone version.

Yeah, same guy. Same place.

No, really.

Oh well. That’s just prelude to one of my favorite Steve Taylor songs: On The Moshing Floor, also done at Cornerstone in 2003.

!..! Rawk on !..!

We need Steve Taylor back :-)

I was talking with a co-worker today and somehow got onto the topic of depression. For anyone who wants to know what it’s like, I think the best description musically that I’ve ever heard is the Darkest Days album by Stabbing Westward. In fact, when I had depression, this album was pretty much on constant repeat for me (BTW: that wasn’t a good thing; if you’re depressed, this album is about the worst thing to listen to…but if you’re not depressed and you want insight, it’s the best explanation that I know of).

My brother-in-law played the Sixx:AM CD for me today after church. I’ve heard Life Is Beautiful before, since that’s the hit on the radio, but they have other cool songs, like Pray For Me too (killer riff on this song).

Good songs there. I’m gonna get the album (assuming I don’t get it for Christmas).

I must be feeling in a bit of an artistic mood these days. Check out this waltz I wrote this evening. Yes, once again it’s in Midi format. When I get a new computer, I’ll have to get a musical keyboard too…

After I got to work and listened to the Midi link I provided below I realized I had uploaded the wrong version with the rough cut interlude on the second modulation. That error has now been fixed :-) You can click the same link now and it’ll work like it’s supposed to.

Stupid Bush.

Well, since I had nothing better to do with my time now that I actually HAD time, I put together the two Midi songs I’d done earlier into one theme: Winter Theme. Take that!

Now time for sleep :-)

A few days ago, I uploaded a Midi file called Winter Night. Today, I’ve done a companion piece called Winter Day.

Both of these pieces are short, and because they rely on Midi instead of being done as MP3, the sound quality will depend on your own soundcards. I don’t know if I’ll ever do anything with them, but it’s nice to be able to write music of some kind again :-)