CalvinDude.com

This morning as I listened to the radio to keep from falling back asleep after my alarm went off but before I could drag my sorry excuse for a carcas out of bed to force it into yet another day of work [breathe], I heard quite the interesting little radio commerical. It’s for the local rodeo thing they do every summer here in the Springs. This year’s theme is “Break from the Herd.”

So what did they do to represent this? They had a bunch of sheep baaa-ing. The announcer said something like, “Are you sick of following other sheep? Then break from the herd!” And I was like, Hey, that would be possible…you know, IF SHEEP CAME IN HERDS!

Which makes me wonder: Does this qualify as a mixed metaphor, or is it just people are too dumb to know what the flock sheep come in?

>:-D

By the way, the proof for my previous post is as follows:

The statement “The difference between two consecutive squares” can be represented as:

(n + 1)² - n²

…and the statement “is the sum of the two numbers being squared” can be represented as:

= (n + 1) + n; or = 2n + 1

So:

(n + 1)² - n² = 2n + 1

First, let’s get the square out of the first term:

(n + 1)(n + 1) - n² = 2n + 1

Now we factor:

n² + 2n + 1 - n² = 2n + 1

Cancel out the n² due to the -n² and you get:

2n + 1 = 2n + 1.

The difference between two consecutive squares is the sum of the two numbers being squared. I.e. 6² = 36. 7² = 49. Difference = 13, which is 6 + 7.

Put that in your smoke and pipe it!

This article kinda helps validate my argument that the reason people do so poorly on math is because it’s taught so poorly. Yes, I know that’s a profound and utterly non-intuitive concept and all…but if teachers are too dumb to know math how can they teach it?

Naturally, I’m somewhat biased since I don’t think math is all that difficult of a concept to grasp. Then again, at work I am apparently the only one who can tell the difference between “one” and “more than one” (as evidenced by the fact that the batches of stuff I have to run that are supposed to contain “singles” — that is, one item per transaction — often have “multies” — that is, more than one item per transaction — smuggled into them). Now I know what you’re thinking: The philosophical problem of the one and the many was solved in roughly 1996.

B.C.

Nevertheless, it remains a difficult concept for some to grasp, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom (mainly because they’re irrational, and thus not “reasons” in the first place). Anywho, all that to get back to the main point which is: while I don’t think math is all that difficult, I fully understand the fact that there are those who do. These people are dumb, and I have to work with them. Sigh.

J/k.

Actually, I do think the basics of math take a while to grasp, kinda like forming the foundations of logic. Once it “clicks” however, the rest becomes fairly simple. The problem with math (and logic) is of course that teachers make it as hard as possible to understand the mechanics of math. They want to teach you the right “method” but the right method without understanding what the method does is the wrong approach. Hence the article’s statement:

Teacher candidates know their multiplication tables, but “they don’t come to us knowing why multiplication works the way it does,” said Denise Mewborn, who heads the University of Georgia department of math and science education.

And this is the problem. This is also why I continue to rebell against the notion that students must “show their work” when doing math; because that just means that students must “follow the correct method” when the only “correct” method is “whatever method gets the right answer.” And I’m sorry, but if you have a deeper insight into how numbers work than your teacher, why should you be penalized for doing math faster, easier, and more accurately just because your teacher can’t understand what you just did?

WTF Just Happened?

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

MARK W is teaching a class. He is a complete dork and couldn’t act to save his life.

All the bees are dead.

I’m allergic to bee-stings.

Where did their bodies go?

Global Warming!

Could be.

Bush did it!

Exactly! Bush did it.

There are sudden screams from outside.

What is it? That noise. I mean, what
is that noise?

Someone just jumped off the roof of
the bank!

(with cell phone camera)
I’m so gonna put this vid up on MySpace!

The SUPERINTENDENT of the school rushes into the room.

We’re all going to die!

He throws himself out the window. The kids continue filming it with their cell phones.

CUT TO…

EXT. WOODS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE – DAY

Why do we have to walk? The train
was running perfectly well.

I think M. Night’s been reading The
Stand. God, I hope we don’t have to
walk all the way to Boulder.

They stop five feet away from a fifteen-story building.

Where do we go now?

I don’t know. Hey look, a building!

Good thing you saw that or we’d be
stuck here forever!

They go the door of the building. It has a giant red screen reading “LOCKED”, a huge padlock on the door, etc. Mark W. tries the door anyway.

Oh no! It’s locked!

We’re doomed!

Behind them, a BUSH appears looking menacing.

We’ll be safe as long as the wind doesn’t
blow.

The wind blows.

MAN THIS MOVIE BLOWS!

They run into a conveniently placed cottage, but Mark W. goes in one door and Zooey in a different one!!!!

Zooey! I love you! Where are you?

I don’t know! It’s dark. I’m scared.

Just stay alive! I WILL FIND YOU!

We get a top-down view, showing Zooey and Mark in two rooms at the end of a long hall. The doors are not locked.

I can’t live without you.

He walks as slowly as possible outside. Zooey does too. They meet in the field and kiss.

We’re not dead!

Our careers are.

The end credits begin. The camera pulls back from the screen showing…a dead audience.

The credits end. We see the fifteen story building. The screen changes from “LOCKED” to “UNLOCKED.” The door opens.

An AVALANCHE OF BEE CORPSES falls out.

While there may often be times that I disagree with some plot choices that Stephen King makes, there’s one thing that I will admit unashamed. Stephen King is a writer’s writer. What do I mean by that? Well, there are certain authors that I enjoy to read. In this group, I would include writers like John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and James Patterson.

Then there are writers that cause me to want to write. I include in this group Joseph Heller (at least in Catch 22), John Steinbeck, Dean Koontz, and Umberto Eco. And, of course, more than any of the others…Stephen King.

I say that pointing out that I don’t like everything I’ve ever read by King. For instance, I hated It and didn’t care much for Cujo either. However, no other author has left me with the feeling, I so hafta be a writer! more often than Stephen King. And of course a lot of his works are also fun to read too. For instance, this week I finished reading The Wolves of the Calla (Sunday), and immediately started The Song of Susannah. I finished that less than an hour ago (and I should note that I worked an hour of overtime at work today too). Now I’m getting ready to finish up the Dark Tower series with, you guessed it, The Dark Tower.

But as I read through those books, more than anything else I’m thinking of the stories I’ve been working on. I don’t get much inspiration from King–not in the sense of getting story ideas, anyway. Rather, he is so good at crafting a tale that it gives me a target to aim for. It literally does make me go, “I can do this. So I will!” And it’s rather ironic since my writing style (when it comes to novels, not my blog) is the exact opposite of King. King is, shall we say, wordy. Or to use his terms, he’s a “putter-inner” while I’m a “taker-outer.” In point of fact, if I had the story concept for The Wolves of the Calla, I probably would have written a book about 300 pages long at most. King’s was closer to 1,000 pages than to 300…

I talked with Travis, a fellow wannabe writer, earlier today about that too. There were certain passages where I know I would have cut entire pages from the story if I had been writing them; but King makes it work. And it’s not to say one is right and one is wrong. But I have a feeling if King had written The 13th Prime it would be about 800 pages long right now (my current version, which still need a few revisions of course, is at 325 pages long).

I remember reading in King’s On Writing that he had a simple rule for after the first draft was finished. The second draft: 10% shorter. (In a way, it reminds me of A River Runs Through It: “Mmm-hmmm, good. Do it again, half as long.”) I, however, probably need to take the opposite advice. I start with about as close to bare-bones as the story will go. After that, I seek to add character development.

Take Public Transit for instance. The first draft was only 36,000 words long: a novella by anyone’s standards. It took me roughly eight revisions before I finally got it to the 50,000 word mark to make it an “official” novel. And the biggest reason I got that far? Because one of the people I gave rough drafts to said, “You really need to develop Emily’s character better.” And that’s when it clicked for me that Public Transit wasn’t just the story of the two brothers, Justin and Steve, but also included Emily. Developing her character gave me the extra words I needed to get it fully novel length (and it was well after I had decided, “If this book needs to be a novella, well, that’s just how long the book will be”).

So think of that. My first draft ran about 36,000 words. The final draft was just above 50,000. Instead of cutting 10% from the first draft, I added 39%.

Oh well. That’s somewhat of a bunny trail from my original point…which is this: after reading through almost to the end of the Dark Tower series, I’m totally ready to go back through yet another revision of The 13th Prime.

But Roland is calling first….

BTW, I got the new Offspring album, and if you like them then you’ll probably love this album. There are a few songs that aren’t that great (but that’s typical of every album), however the songs that nail it really nail it. The first track, Half-Truism, the third track, You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, and the fourth one (their single), Hammerhead are awesome. I also like Fix You, although it’s most certainly not punk.

In fact, this album is closer to just straight up rock than punk (although there are definite punk grooves). So even those who don’t care for The Offspring might still like this album.

This weekend will by my birthday. As a result, I figured I’d buy myself a present. It just so happens that I mentioned how I wanted to get an electric guitar again (I still have my original Gibson Les Paul Special Epiphone, but since it’s my first guitar I don’t want to do much with it). One of my co-workers said, “I have an Ibanez I could sell ya.”

So I took him up on the offer. I got the Ibanez (it’s an RG 120), an amp, the case to carry it in, a cable, and even a slide so I can do slide guitar if I want to, all for $150. The amp itself is probably worth around $100, and a new guitar would still run you about $200 (on sale!), so I got a great deal :-)

Next up, I’ll need to buy a good drum machine. Then a 16 track…

You can ignore this post, if you wish. I know I will!

(a, a²)

y = -(x - a)² + a²

Well, I found out today that I had a glitch in my paycheck that I will receive on Friday. Unfortunately, they cannot fix it because it’s direct deposit and already sent on the way to the bank. But what happened is that this pay check, I’ll get paid for….

65 hours of overtime.

Yeah, that’s a little much. I know I worked a lot of OT, but not THAT much! Anyway, I took the paystub we get informing us of what our deposit will be over to our payroll department, and the supervisor there looked at it and said, “I fixed that! What happened?!”

Turns out that I did everything right on my end, but somehow the computer went wonky. The good news is that I’ll be getting a huge paycheck on Friday. And I won’t have to pay it back. That’s because the policy is they fix any errors on the next paycheck (which isn’t that bad, since I know of it in advance and it will earn interest while it’s in my account, so I’ll actually make like an extra $0.10 or something). The only drawback is that my next paycheck will be really really

little.

Although that also depends on how much OT I do next week, so maybe I’ll get 65 hours in after all….

Oh well. Just more stuff that happens to “other people.”