I forgot I had uploaded this song before, but since I found I had, I’ll toss in a bit of background for it. The song is called I Know Why and it’s one of the songs that I wrote when I was living in my demon-possessed apartment, so that would have put it around 2005 or so (in other words, one of the last songs I recorded, since most of my equipment went the way of the Dodo when I moved from that hole).

Anyway, here’s the lyrics:

I Know Why
Words and Music by Peter Pike. (c) 2005 by Selenium. All rights reserved.

I ask you to look this way
You look at me as if to say
And tell me that it is broken.
I pretend to understand
I fake that I comprehend
But I don’t know a word you’ve spoken.

All around the world falls
All around the sky dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever thought
Is buried in the mass
Of undeciphered malcontent
And embittered trash.

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has something to do with me
And what you see.

I ask God for a sign
And He says that I only whine
And beg Him for something else I think I need
It is nothing personal at all
Just a product of the Fall
And my envious greed.

All around the buildings fall
All around the sparrow dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever knew
Is buried in the grave
Of undeciphered malcontent
The only thing I save.

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has something to do with me
And what you see.

The face in the mirror
The mirage in the shiver
The place where I was
The longing just because
A world that never felt at peace
It was never at ease
I only felt this way
Cuz I knew some day I’d pay.

I am standing in the rain
It showers me with pain
And all I know how to do is cry.
I pretend that it is fine
I pretend that you are mine
And never bother to question why

All around my facades fall
All around my image dies
It is everywhere
Under suffocating lies
Everything I ever was
Is buried far beyond
My undeciphered malcontent
The vision’s finally dawned

I know why your universe is gray
And why you never stay.
It has nothing to do with me
And what you see.

This song is one of the songs that I really like even though I also don’t like it. Probably a lot of it has to do with the fact that it comes from when I was in a dark place (yeah, a demon-possessed apartment isn’t exactly a “happy place”). Still, this song contains some of my favorite lyrics of anything I’ve ever written (especially the second verse).

The song feels a bit disjointed, both lyrically and musically, which is semi-intentional. It’s especially evident in the bridge section, where I go into it by having “competing” solo riffs. It’s actually to actualize the point of the first verse about incomprehensibility. By the way, in case you didn’t get it, the “you” who is being refered to throughout the song is the “face in the mirror.” On that level, it makes the song seem sort of schizophrenic, and I suppose there are aspects of that echoing in there; but in reality, it deals a great deal with the struggle between what I wanted to be and what I really was at the time.

In any case, the opening riff is one of the most fun ones to play on guitar. And I also liked the chords I came up with for the verses. I even like the rhythm riffs for the bridge. However, the solos aren’t as good as I’d like (although it fits the song anyway), and I don’t care for my vocals in this song either. I sound too much like Bono…. (Travis will understand this means that I’m wailing too much in it.) :-P

Oh well. I just thought I’d share the background with you. And yes, this means that I watched Spinal Tap again and wish I was in a band again….