Don’t miss your chance to own what could be the most important book since Joe Holman wrote something! That’s right, our very own…well, me…has written a book called Public Transit, and unlike some other authors I could mention who have tried to steal publicity from

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

, I am not a former student of

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

In fact

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

has not even read my book or else it would have been endorsed by

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

.

The book that

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

has not yet read is available at Amazon.com for a limited time (limited because you cannot go backwards in time to get it last year—you are limited to now and future dates, but probably not forever then either because at some point the universe will end).

Public Transit has been described by critics as a “book.” One reader (not

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

) said, “Peter Pike has written a very sarcastic book and also refers to himself in the third person when writing reviews.”

Public Transit is an irreverent social commentary that deals with such issues as the Vietnam War (“It was about white Republicans forcing African Americans into a godforsaken jungle so that they would die, and thus avoid the Civil Rights movement. It’s exactly like what Shrub is doing in Iraq today” (p. 79)), animal rights (“[I]nstead of fetal pigs, they’d use real human fetuses so they wouldn’t have to worry about the ethics of dissections any longer” (p. 41)), politics (“A bullet in the Bush is worth two in the hand” (p. 76)), and the philosophy of time (“That had all been six hours ago” (p. 156)). Most notable (

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

would notice if he were writing this review), the entire book contains only four (4) semicolons!

Public Transit is available now for only $12.94.

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!

And what’s more, after you’re done with the book it will continue to serve a useful purpose in your life (unlike Joel Osteen). Use it to prop up that crooked table leg, as a handy door stop during hurricane season, or to trade for Pokémon cards with your neighbor’s kids! (Also makes a great parting gift for when Mormons visit!)

WILLIAM LANE CRAIG!!!!