CalvinDude.com

That’s right, Travis got me. Now I’m doomed.

Supposedly, I have to spout off some nonsense about rules:

Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

But I’m rebellious, so I won’t post those rules. I can, however, spout out 6 odd things about me. This is because I have pretty much an infinite supply of oddities. But, like I said, I’m rebellious. So I’m not going to give you 6 things. I’ll give you 110 things:

1) I suppose the weirdest thing about me is that I’ve never gotten my driver’s license. This wouldn’t be unusual if I lived in NYC. But I don’t. And I don’t do this for environmental reasons either (although if you’re wondering, you can work that angle with the liberal chicks at Starbucks). I just never got it and I have no desire to get it. Shoot me now, kill me later.

10) I’m the only person I know who composes classical music, punk & metal songs, techno music, and also writes novels. Note: I didn’t say any of them were good.

11) I never stop reading. My backpack currently contains: Strangers by Dean Koontz (I’m working on my third re-read of his best work), God Centered Biblical Interpretation by Vern S. Poythress, A Popular Survey of the Old Testatment by Norman Geisler, The Structure of Evolutionary Theory by Stephen Jay Gould, and Public Transit by some weird guy (working on the edits for the final proof, ya know). And yes, I am reading all of them at the same time. Well, not the exact same time…but you know what I mean. And yes, I can keep track of them all separately.

100) I have studied* at least ten different languages, two of which are extinct. These are: English (no fair!), Spanish, German, Russian, Italian, French, Arabic, Koine (i.e. “New Testament”) Greek, Hebrew, and Latin. I also know 1337…but that doesn’t really count as “language.”

*By “studied” I mean that I’ve taken at least one semester and/or used Babelfish to translate a page…. And if I were to rank how fluent I am, obviously it goes:

1) English
10) Spanish
11) Koine Greek

Then there’s a HUGE drop off….

101) I can count in binary…for no reason at all.

110) Sometimes I wish I was normal. I suppose wanting to be normal isn’t weird. But me being normal would be weird. So this still qualifies.

Now for the poor schmucks I’ll pick on. Of course, I can’t pick Travonius because he tagged me. PLUS, he stole SpideyGeek. GRRR….

Mom There needs be no reason for this one :-)
Kerry (the black Calvinist!)
Floggy because he wears a man skirt…and is unashamed
Machd00d, even though he hasn’t updated his blog in 74 years
Uberkermit (I’m running out of blogs!!!)
Carla, another #pros denzien!

Whew.

BAG DAD, I ROCK–Al Qaeda in Iraq offered a temporary cease-fire today to allow the media more time to cover the most important news story in history.

“We will refrain today from killing (many) people,” said spokesman Habib al Mal Khantent. “We do not wish these killings to go unreported so as to give the infidel dogs invading our homeland hope.”

Several reporters were not pleased. “I worked for days to get the freedom fighters of Iraq to trust me,” wrote ASP journalist, Mini Walker. “Then, just when I’m about to get an exclusive inside look at a martyrdom operation against our occupying mercenary army, some stupid broad has to die.”

Walker’s complaints were seconded by several anonymous political insiders who worked for Nancy Pelosi. “I’m not saying I know what happened,” said one of them. “But you have to admit it’s kind of eerie that Anna Nicole dies just days after Speaker Pelosi tried to get a plane..”

Pelosi, while quick to deny President Bush had any role in the death of Anna Nicole Smith, said, “Rumsfeld is still on the Pentagon payroll.”