CalvinDude.com

There’s something wrong with this…

Oh yes. They sing about Star Wars…with no Star Wars themes.

Many of our Arminian friends make the claim that Calvinism is not found in the Bible, but it instead eisegeted in by the Calvinist. I would humbly ask a question of any Arminian who believes this:

From whence did the belief of Calvinism originate?

That is, suppose for argument that you are correct and that the Bible does not teach Calvinism. Why, then, would anyone who reads Scripture come to a Calvinist understanding of those passages? If Arminianism is true, then why would any man read Scripture and believe Calvinism to be true? What worldly system proffers a view like Calvinism such that a Calvinist believes this false philosophy and imputes it into the text of Scripture? What is that false philosophy? Name it and trace the path between it and the Reformed view. Or barring any actual existent philosophy, name the error of thought that would render a man incapable of reading Arminianism in Scripture and instead coming to the opposite conclusion.

Because the Calvinist can answer this question in reverse. For even Arminians ought to be able to see that if you assume Calvinism is true (for the sake of argument), then we know that man is depraved and wishes to think more importantly of himself than is his due. This will immediately tend to make a person believe he has more power in determining his salvation than he actually does. Hence, if Calvinism is true, Arminians are to be expected.

But how does that work for the Arminian? Even if man is depraved, God supposedly gives grace that makes it possible for all to believe—at least all who hear the Gospel. Why, then, in the presence of this grace, would any man believe Calvinism instead of Arminianism? What are the steps there, Arminian brothers? How does this follow? Have you thought it out at all? Does this not interest you in the least?

Someone brought donuts in to work today. Since I work in a department with mostly women, that means that right now, 5/16ths of a donut remain in the donut box.

A guy would never do this.

See, if there’s five guys in a department and someone brings in four donuts, that means that four guys gets donuts and one guy gets nothing. But if there’s five women in a department and only four donuts, you can guarantee by the end of the day there will be a box with only 5/16ths of a donut in it. And no one will know where any of the donuts, or donut parts, went!

This is an axiom. You cannot deny it.

This is why guys sometimes have to take it upon themselves to be merciful to the last donut. If we get to the box and there are only two donuts left, we take both of them. Because there’s nothing more pathetic than seeing 5/16ths of a donut. Alone. In the wilderness of a donut box.

I love how the media complains that bloggers need to be “fact checked” and yet then they fall for fake quotes attributed to Rush Limbaugh without bothering to, you know, “fact check” and all. Irrelevancy would be an upgrade for the lamestreet media.

Here’s hoping Limbaugh sues for libel. In any sane legal system, he’d win. But this is America…

I just got back from the neighborhood Target (yet, French pronunciation is a must). Normally, as I wander through the halls of that place, I get bombarded with people in red shirts who, just like their Star Trek counterparts, are seeking to make an impact in their five seconds before they’re offed into oblivion. So every three steps its, “Can I help you find something?”

I figure this happens so often because I know exactly what I want and need no assistance in locating it. After all, I have been here before and the shelves are not migrating.

Be that as it may, today I went in and grabbed a bottle of Sobe’s Lifewater (the Strawberry Kiwi flavor) off the shelf. Apparently, the citrus flavor next to it had been overlooked many times already, and this was the final straw. Due to extremely low self-esteem, it leapt to its death and splattered all over the aisle.

Normally, I’m not much of a sentimental guy. But I figured this nice bottle of whatever needed a proper funeral. So I picked up the empty shell of its former life and set it aside, then went to find a redshirt to officiate over the funeral.

I walked up and down the entire hall, even into electronics. There were no redshirts around. They’re only there when you don’t need them.

So I finally said, “Enough of this. I’ve got what I came for.” And I went to the checkout line, where I told the woman at the register about the fate of one lonely bottle of citrus Sobe Lifewater. About ten seconds later, a second cashier came over to the first and said, “This lady just said there’s a mess in the juice aisle. I’m on the registers. What do we do?”

At least the woman at my checkout stand believed me. She even thanked me for informing her of the suicide, even though register workers cannot do anything about it.

I figured it was enough to blame gravity, and headed on my way. But of course, we all know the real culprit.

George W. Bush.

I still blame you.

We’ve known for some time that the Nobel Peace Prize is a piece of crap, worth little more than the prom king crown. It’s nothing but a gauge of how well leftist Eurodweebs like you. A popularity contest among an inbred festering sore of intellectual laziness.

I thought Al Gore winning it was bad. Winning as a talking zombie obsessed with the thermostat was pretty far down on the list of “reasons why you should win the Nobel Peace Prize” in my book. Now President 0 has “won” it. Yet nominations ended February 1—you know, when Barak was still picking the color of drapes Michelle would wear to their first “let’s go to New York” trip.

Apparently, peace these days means “being a president not named Bush.” Because as far as I can tell, that’s the only thing Barry has managed to “accomplish” in his whopping 9 months of using our country as a rented mule. Perhaps a 9.8% unemployment rate (17% if you count numbers the way they were under Bush, who had the horrific 5% rate that proves he was a dunce) is a means to peace. After all, it works well in France, all those unemployed “youths” who go around burning cars in the name of peace…

If Nobel knew his prize would have been used in this way, I think he might have dynamited Oslo himself.

Rockies have clenched the Wild Card spot, so they’re going to the playoffs again. Also, if they win their last three games of the season, they’ll actually win the division. Stranger things have happened.

Like this amazing come from behind victory:

Now that is a great victory…

How is it already October?